Advice for the MOB’s from Kate Lewis
I am THRILLED to share this guest blog feature today, tailored solely for a specific reader group: our MOTHERS of brides! We are honored to be sharing this thoughtfully curated list of wedding tips and wisdom from popular blogger [and former “mother of the bride”], Kate on the Daily. Kate has her own lifestyle blog where she shares regular nuggets of fashion, travel, hosting and more. LLC Events was privileged to plan and coordinate Kate’s daughter’s wedding last Fall and continue to have a treasured relationship that blossomed from wedding planning together. We’re not lying when we say friends become like family over wedding planning!
To know her is to love her, and I’m tickled to share this sage wedding advice from a highly fashionable, forever graceful (and humorous!) former mother of the bride, Kate Lewis. Listen up, mamas! You’ll want to bookmark this post to revisit these tips!
A look back at wedding planning
by guest blogger: Kate Lewis
So, you’re about to have a wedding. Congratulations! Our daughter married in September of 2022. It was lovely. My husband and I considered paying the “kids” to elope figuring it would be cheaper and we’d be fine just seeing the pictures, but…well…we talked ourselves out of it.
The truth about wedding planning is this: It’s Complicated. Anything involving money and emotions is bound to be, right?
So, here are some things we learned along the way. Make two decisions as quickly as possible:
- Budget. Involve your bride in all the budget and financial decisions. Let this be a learning experience for her. I’m pretty sure this is the first time our daughter had ever used Excel. Later on, when decision fatigue starts to settle in, you’ll be glad to have this as your guide.
- Get a wedding planner you and your bride jive with. We made a fabulous decision in hiring Laura Lyn. She was involved right from the start and knew how to communicate with our bride and me so we could establish some early plans quickly and easily. I didn’t NOT know what all goes into planning a wedding, but I learned fast that I wasn’t entirely clear on that, either. Save yourself a nervous breakdown and get a wedding planner.
And then…
- Get a wedding bag: A small tote you can toss in your car or on your shoulder at a moment’s notice. You may think you can keep up with dates, logistics and other data on your phone and you can, but you will also accumulate physical objects (paper samples, ribbon samples, cups, cards, etc) that you’ll want to have handy. In the bag, keep pens, a notebook, sticky notes, bandaids, water, Advil, a Tide stick, tissue, and essentials to touch up makeup. This will be your emergency kit for you and your bride during your wedding planning appointments and travel.
- Create a folder on your phone for the bazillion photos you, your bride and your wedding planner will share. You’ll also take all sorts of screen shots. Put those there, too.
- Google Keep worked beautifully for us to share tasks and lists.
- Listen to your wedding planner when it comes to choosing a venue. When she has executed events at certain places, she will know the good and the bad. If she expresses caution, pay attention!
- Create a Note on your phone to hold onto decisions your bride makes. For example, I wish I had a dime for every time someone asked me what china pattern our bride chose. I could never remember! Include things like where she registered, colors, info about dresses, names, special wishes. Anything that doesn’t go on a calendar goes here.
- When she’s trying on dresses for all occasions (wedding, parties, luncheons, etc), take a picture of her from the front and the back. This will help later when she’s trying to choose shoes, jewelry and hairstyles. It’s also handy when it’s time to choose her bouquet style and shape.
- When someone asks you for a decision on behalf of your bride (what kind of gift she would like, for example), resist the urge to give an answer. Unless you are double dog sure of her answer, just don’t. Politely say you will find out and get back with them. This is her wedding, it will be her home, her honeymoon, her reception, her memories. Let her decide.
- Don’t forget to take a gift to showers for her. I speak from experience.
- If you have trouble with boundaries, now is the time to figure that out. When it’s time to be at work or with another child or on a date with your husband, leave the wedding at the door. It can be consuming if you let it be. Work hard to keep some balance so you can keep the joy in it. You may have to say to your sweet blushing bride to wait her turn for your attention. That’s ok. She will be just as married if you go take a shower or get a glass of wine with a friend.
- When you hit 60 days from the wedding, schedule all your last appointments (skincare, hair, brows, nails, etc) to be 3-10 days from the wedding date. And don’t put one single appointment on the last 2 days prior to the wedding. Give yourself space to breath and enjoy the occasion.
No sugar coating here…planning something as significant as a wedding can be trying. So, don’t be hard on yourself or the people around you. Remember you’re making memories. Before you know it, you’ll be waving goodbye to the getaway car wondering if she packed those sandals she didn’t love but had to have anyway and if that sweet little boy knows what he just agreed to.
To find more entertaining advice and fun lifestyle tips, follow Kate on Instagram at @kateonthedaily and sign up for her newsletter at kateonthedaily.com.
